She hungered for inspiration like junkies craved heroin. Being a musician was a life much lonelier than she imagined it would be. As a teenager she thought playing music would bring her fame, sex and friends. Sometimes it got her sex but so far fame was an ocean away and the few friends she had made, she managed to run off with her erratic moods.
The thought had occurred to her to just give it up and get a regular job with regular hours. Then maybe she could afford to feed herself on a daily basis and have a place of her own to sleep at night. Couch surfing and cheap motels for the last three years had been hell. But every now and then when she was writing, inspiration would strike. Lyrics and music would pour out of her soul like blood from an open vein. Emotions would find their way out of her body and down her guitar as hot tears rolled down her cheeks as if she was releasing sadness she had born for eternity.
Everyday she searched for that feeling, for that elusive muse, the only thing that truly fed her. Try as she might she could never find the right formula to bring it out. The energy struck without rhyme or reason, it never came on the same way twice, sometimes it was there and sometimes it wasn’t. She needed a way to bring it out, chasing after something she didn’t understand was driving her mad. An alcoholic knew he could get a buzz with alcohol, a junkie knew he could get high with his drug, a sex addict could get their fix with a good fuck. But how do you track down something you can’t describe?
It had been a while for her. She could last a year or two off a good soul, but her last one had not been very impressive. Day by day she was growing weaker and as her appetite grew she knew the mirror would soon show lines across her face. True, they would fade after she fed but it was more difficult to get a decent meal when you looked old. Every guy is the same, they all want a pretty young face and a firm body.
She stretched in the bed and looked around the room. This hadn’t been a bad place to live, certainly better than some of her previous lovers places of residence. At least there were no bugs or rodents. The previous tenant’s art lined the walls and she rolled her eyes as they scanned the haphazard attempts at the paintings of naked women. He had tried, she gave him that, he poured his heart and soul into his paintings but the real artistic flourish just wasn’t there. By the time he was finished she had him believing he was the next Da Vinci. She smiled at the thought.
For a moment she thought of leaving the city and hunting somewhere else, but quickly dismissed the thought. New Orleans was full of tortured artists, why give that up?
She walked into the bar and found a table in the corner. There was no live music tonight, and she was happy. She had to get out of that dingy motel but wasn’t in the mood to hear some douche bag singing songs that were no better than her own. The bar was more quiet than usual, she thought maybe she could get some writing done. She said a silent prayer that she could finish the song she started a while back and took out her pen. A little later the waitress came up.
“What can I get you to drink?” a soft voice asked.
“Nothing right now.” she answered with her head still down.
“You’ve been here an hour. You have to order something or I can’t let you sit here.”
“Fine, I’ll have whatever your cheapest beer is.”
“What are you so focused on?” The waitress asked, peering curiously over her shoulder.
“A song I started. I just can’t finish the damn thing.” She sighed and put her head in her hands.
The waitress walked away but returned in moment with a milky green drink in a fancy glass. She sat it on the table in front of her.
“I didn’t order absinthe.” She said, giving the waitress and the drink a blank look.
“I know, it’s my treat. I’ve always heard there is a muse that lives in the absinthe. I thought you could use the help tonight.” She smiled sweetly and placed the spoon and sugar cube over the glass.
“I’ve had absinthe before. I don’t remember it doing much.” said the customer reluctantly.
“This is good absinthe, you should try it.” She said as she lit the sugar on fire. They watched it burn together.
“Thanks, I guess.” She sipped the strong drink and put her pen to paper.
Another hour went by and the waitress came by again to check on her.
“How is the writing coming along?” she asked.
The other woman jumped, startled out of her own little world. She looked down at the page and blinked, startled by what she saw. The song was finished and it was perfect.
“I’ll be damned, I think the absinthe worked.” She smiled and there was a light in her eyes. The waitress grinned at her. She looked at the waitress and noticed her for the first time. The waitress was adorable, her black hair was cut short and her features were cute and dainty. Her short black dress came just beneath her round hips and she wore shiny black boots to her knees. Her full pink lips smiled.
“Told ya” she said.
“I owe you…”
“I’m Lena” the waitress said. “ I’m just glad I could help” her green eyes held something mysterious that didn’t quite match her perkiness.
“I’m Maxine, I don’t suppose you would let me buy you a drink after you get off work?” She asked hopefully. The longer she looked at her the more beautiful she became. She hoped Lena liked girls.
“That would be nice” Lena smiled sweetly at her. Her lips looked like strawberry candy.
“What time do you get off?”
“Ten minutes ago, I’m off the clock. I just came over to see how you were doing before I left for the night.”
She grinned, she was certain Lena was interested. “Great, where would you like to go?”
“I have an idea, let me freshen up and grab my coat. I’ll be right back.”
“I’ll be here” She was feeling downright giddy. Was it Lena, or the absinthe, or maybe the relief of finishing that song? Whatever it was she felt seventeen again and was excited to see where the night led them.
She was cute, the cutest she had been out with in a long time. Lena went into the bathroom and touched up her black eyeliner. It made the pale green of her eyes stand out even more. She put on a bit of lip gloss and candy scented perfume and looked in the mirror. “Not bad.”
Her stomach was filled with butterflies. That rush of getting to know someone new was always so exhilarating. And she could tell they needed something from each other.
They walked through the Quarter and to the edge of the river. The gas street lamps burned just bright enough to cast a warm mysterious glow where the light fell. They sat on one of the iron benches close to each other, but not too close.
It was always surprising how quiet New Orleans could be. To have some of the busiest night life in the country you could always find somewhere to sneak away and enjoy the quiet. It was the best of both worlds.
They were quiet for a while. Neither knowing what to say or where to start, but both knowing where they hoped it would end.
Maxine brushed her sandy blonde hair out of her face, it hung just above her shoulders in soft waves. She shrugged and awkwardly smiled with a soft laugh.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to take you out for a drink?” she asked thinking maybe more alcohol would help the conversation flow a bit more easily.
Lena smiled and reached into her oversized bag. She pulled out a nearly full bottle of absinthe. “They’ll never miss it at work”
“Look at you, cute and sneaky” Maxine said with a laugh.
She blushed a bit at the cute remark. “Are you ok with drinking it straight?”
“I’m sure I’ve had worse” Maxine said.
Lena popped open the bottle and took a sip with a straight face before she handed it to Maxine. Maxine took a drink, damn, it was strong like this. She almost had to clear her throat but resisted the urge.
They passed the bottle back and forth and talked. Lena asked her about her music and aspirations and Maxine found herself telling Lena more than she had ever even admitted to anyone.
She listened intently committing all the little details to memory. It was obvious Maxine felt like a failure in most aspects of life. She missed her family back in South Carolina, but she refused to let them see she hadn’t been successful as a big time musician. Lena watched the way Maxine’s lips moved when she spoke and she watched the way she held the bottle in her hand. Her hands were calloused from playing guitar and she wondered how they would feel running over her body. Lena hadn’t been with many women but she had enjoyed the times she had. It seemed all Maxine desired was endless inspiration. Lena could give her that and the thought made her warm inside.
“Now that I’ve rambled on, tell me about yourself” Maxine said.
“Ah, not much to tell there. My mom was a junkie and I sort of raised myself here in the quarter. I’ve got a few friends here and there but overall what you see is what you get” She smiled only a little. It wasn’t the entire truth but not exactly a lie either. She took a another sip of absinthe.
A breeze blew in off the water, it would have been chilly if not for the alcohol in their systems. The anise flavored drink had cleared their minds in the way only it can do and even though they were quiet now it was no longer awkward.
Lena broke the silence. “I would really love to hear the song you finished. Could we go somewhere where you could play it for me? Please?” She added the “please” as sweetly as possible.
Maxine looked at her a moment rolling through possible scenarios in her head. Lena’s big green eyes stared out at Maxine through the blackness of her eyeliner and her smile was just heart stopping. Maxine pictured her naked on a couch in front of a big roaring fireplace while she played to her. Of course her motel room had no such amenities. But she was okay with the idea of her naked pretty much anywhere. “My motel isn’t far, it’s not a great place though” she said almost shamefully.
Lena took out a pen and piece of paper. “Here is my address, go get your guitar and come on over.” Her hand lingered in Maxine’s a moment as she gave her the paper.
Her touch made something in Maxine’s stomach tighten like she had never felt before. “Okay, I’ll see you soon.”
Lena smiled slyly and walked off. Her place was a short walk from where they were. Once inside she lit some candles and opened her balcony door. She watered her vines trailing down the iron rails and could hear the faint jazz music from a bar a few doors down. It wasn’t long until there was a knock at the door.
Maxine came in carrying an old beat up brown guitar case. “Hi again” she said smiling and this time the smile filled her eyes up with something new.
Lena knew exactly what it was, it was sex, desire and all those other fun and wicked little things people want to do to one another at this hour. She thought for a moment about letting it show that’s where her mind was as well, but this wasn’t the right time. She noticed Maxine had brushed her hair and touched up her understated makeup, not that she needed any. For now she was young and her skin was smooth and lovey.
Lena smiled sweetly “hi again. Can I get you anything?” she asked.
Maxine nearly bit her lip hard enough to draw blood to keep from saying what she really wanted but settled for “no thanks. Do you still want me to play for you?”
“Yes of course” she nodded. “Just sit wherever you are comfortable.”
Maxine pulled a bar stool over by the balcony door and opened up the guitar case. The case was worn but the guitar had been well cared for. Lena could tell by the way Maxine furrowed her brow as she gently took the guitar from it’s case and carefully began to tune it, she loved that guitar more than most people love their spouses. All of her concentration was on her music, it was sexy to see.
Her hands were firm yet gentle in the way she held the guitar and then as she began to play the stress her face had been holding just melted away. She played a soft tune, her fingers gently strumming the strings. Her eyes were relaxed and closed, then, as she started to sing she opened them and looked at Lena.
The sad story in the song unfolded in words so beautiful it left you wanting to have your heart broken just so you could feel the song sink even deeper into your being. If you heard the melody alone you might think it was the tune to a pleasant love song, but the lyrics left the melody a haunting thing playing over in your head.
Lena watched Maxine from the couch. She was simply a lovely silhouette against the deep blue background of the night. She drank in the music and words Maxine had poured herself into writing this evening. With every breath Lena could taste each thought and molecule of creative energy that passed through her mind and onto the paper. It tasted like caramel, thick, sweet and sticky. A taste was all it took. She was starving, so she drank in the energy of the music and lyrics she heard until she was more drunk on that than the booze.
Maxine finished her song and stared at Lena a moment. “It must be the absinthe but I swear your eyes are glowing” she said as she tucked a wave of hair behind her ear.
Lena laughed, “That was an incredibly beautiful song. You are very talented, and your voice reminds me of crushed velvet.”
Maxine eyed her curiously, “how so?”.
“It’s smooth in places, rough in places and dark; you don’t know exactly what it’s going to feel like but you know it will be good.” She let the sweetness in her voice fade to something deeper, more primal.
Maxine put her guitar in the case and walked over to the couch. She stood in front of Lena looking down at her little pixie face. The candlelight was close enough she could see her but Maxine was still only a silhouette to Lena.
She was close enough now Lena could smell her, really smell her. She smelled the absinthe she drank with her, the cheap perfume that didn’t suit her and underneath the clean scent of soap and she smelled her need for everything she could give her. Lena put her hands on Maxine’s waist and slid them up underneath her shirt. Maxine was skinny, she ran her hands up and down her sides sliding over his ribs. Letting her fingers delicately pass over the other woman’s breasts. She stopped at her hips and let her fingers play along the ridges. Lena looked up at the shadow before her and smiled.
“You really are a sweetheart.” Maxine said looking down into her eyes.
“So I’ve been told.” She dropped her eyes to what was right in front of her and slid her hands around in front and began unbuttoning Maxine’s jeans. Maxine became very still, barely taking in a breath as she watched Lena.
Lena slid Maxine’s jeans down as far as she could and admired her cute flowered bikinis. She let her fingers play along under the edges of the cloth and trailed her fingers over her most sensitive spot through the material, she was already wet. Maxine gasped and put her hands on Lena’s shoulders. Lena kissed her stomach and ran her tongue around her navel. She pulled down Maxine’s panties and her touch alone was enough to bring a soft cry from Maxine. Lena tasted Maxine on her fingers and smiled. She touched her again this time she slid her fingers deep inside and found a rythym that made Maxine grip her shoulders to keep standing and cry out as her body spasmed.
Maxine panted until her sight returned. Lena pulled her on the couch beside her and kissed her deeply.
Maxine looked into Lena’s green eyes and was spellbound. She touched her face and said “I want to taste you here”, she said and gently touched Lena’s lips, “then here”, her fingers trailed to her neck, “and then everything from here down”, she ran her hand down the front of her body stopping at her most sensitive of places.
Lena flushed, “bedroom?”
Maxine smiled like something darker had taken over, “Here”. She pushed Lena down on the couch and ran her hands under the short black dress. There were no panties to pull down. Maxine smiled and spread Lena’s legs so that one was on the back of the couch and the other hanging to the floor. Maxine crawled between her legs and kissed her mouth then moved to her neck sucking and biting gently until Lena moaned. She squeezed her breasts almost to the point of too much but it was good.
“You are beautiful.” Maxine said as she looked down on Lena.
“You are sexy as hell.” said Lena as she glimpsed the heat in her eyes.
Maxine pulled the dress up above Lena’s waist and kissed her stomach and down her legs getting so close to that one spot but never going there. Lena was reveling in the attention and dying of anticipation at the same time.
“I don’t think anyone has ever been so good at foreplay.” She said in between breaths.
Maxine responded by placing her mouth over the sweetest of spots and licking gently.
“Oooh” Lena moaned.
She felt Maxine smile against her skin as she slipped two fingers inside her. Her fingers and tongue worked steadily together.
It was too much sensation and before she even realized what was happening she was screaming her orgasm into the darkness. Maxine stopped and kissed her body as she laid there shaking.
“Ready for more?” She asked.
“I’ve not come down from the last one yet.” Lena managed to say.
“Perfect” Maxine said as she slid up Lena’s body and kissed her lips as she slid her fingers inside once more. She didn’t bother being gentle and Lena screamed at the overwhelming sensation. Her body convulsed with every movement like orgasm aftershocks. Lena kissed Maxine and rolled her to be on top so she could bring her once again and drink in her essence. After the both had their fill they held each other and slept.
The next morning Lena was surprised to find Maxine was already up. She was sitting at the kitchen table writing.
“Another song?” She asked sleepily.
“Yeah, I don’t know if it’s you or the absinthe but I can think of about a hundred songs I need to write. I just can’t get them on paper fast enough.”
Even though she had barely slept and looked worn, the spirit of inspiration was glowing in her eyes.
“Can we celebrate your fabulous works again tonight?” Lena asked with a raised eyebrow. She then smoothed down her short hair which tended to have a mind of it’s own most mornings.
“Do you mind if I hang out here and write today?” Maxine asked hopefully.
“Of course, you are welcome to stay. I’m going to get in the shower.” Lena smiled and walked into the bathroom.
She turned on the hot water and looked into the mirror. The fine lines she had been noticing were already fading and her skin looked fresh and full. As long as Maxine stayed and kept writing she would look nearly seventeen in no time. The sex was a definite bonus too. She showered and went back out to see how the writing was coming along.
As the days passed you could see Maxine was no longer a tortured starving artist, she was happy. She wrote songs all day and played them for Lena at night. Later they would sit and drink absinthe then make love until they fell asleep. They were both happy and sated, Lena looked more youthful than ever and her energy could not be matched. Maxine smiled all the time and never seemed to notice the wrinkles and dark circles forming under her eyes or that she slept less and less every night. She didn’t notice when she stopped eating or that they never seemed to leave the apartment. She didn’t miss going out and trying to get a gig or sell her songs. She was just happy to write and be with Lena. Lena and her guitar was all she needed.
The last night after the absinthe and sex, Maxine said to Lena. “Lena, I think you are my muse. You are the fairy that lives in the absinthe and you have given me the life of inspiration I hungered for.”
Lena kissed Maxine because she knew she understood. She had fed her with the inspiration to create and Maxine fed her with the works she created.
Maxine drifted off to sleep in Lena’s arms for the last time having used up all the life she had in her. She had written enough music to fill three lifetimes and was peaceful now in her rest.
Lena knew she would still think of Maxine in years to come. There would be more of course, artists are always seeking a muse. But she was special. She poured herself a glass of absinthe and sat down beside the cold body of the once lovely young woman, now aged so much. She sipped her drink and brushed the hair away from Maxine’s face and hummed the tune she played for her the night they met.
Lillith Elaine 